Have you ever gotten the feeling that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be? It took a long time, and some tough decisions, for me to get there, but knowing I’m finally settled in the right place assures me it was worth it.
I was born at Magee Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh in 1985 and grew up in the Sewickley area in an old house that was in such bad shape my parents got it for a steal. I was a 2003 graduate of Oakland Catholic High School and moved to the D.C. area in 2003 to attend American University.
My husband and I toyed with the idea of moving to Pittsburgh when we got married in October 2021. The pandemic was in its advanced stages and home and rental prices (as well as groceries) were sky high. We knew how much more affordable Pittsburgh would be, but we were hesitant to uproot ourselves. We had been living in the D.C. area for nearly 20 years and felt at home there. Work was good, our friends were there and we lived in a wonderful apartment complex (thanks to the people, not the management!). I even found a church I adored in which I became quite active.
Soon, we realized the income from my freelance writing, photography and teaching piano, which supplemented my husband’s salary, would not be enough to stay in D.C. and buy a house together. After getting married, we were tired of living the apartment life and eager to have a space to truly call our own. We even thought about getting another dog to give our frenchie, Tito, a playmate and eventually having or adopting a child, too. But, like the house we longed for, these dreams were out of the question with my earnings and the expensive rent and cost of living in D.C.
I soon faced a dilemma. I could stay in D.C., with my friends and church and community that felt like home, though I would have to abandon my creative outlets and submit to the demands of a day job. Or I could move somewhere more affordable and tend to my writing, teach music and capture families’ best moments through my portrait photography.
Then came the $4,000 rent bill
I thought about how I was always writing as a child, whether it was a short story about “Starlight,” a magical horse, or forcing my four siblings to create a newspaper about the goings ons of our family and pets, printed out on the old dot matrix paper with holes. (Gen Z and young millennials, you’re lucky printers evolved so quickly in the early 2000s!)
I soon realized that I did not want to give up all this. I had a master’s in education with a specialization in children’s literature at that point, but I didn’t see myself as a classroom teacher. I loved the fact that I had piano students who were with me for years, going virtual during the pandemic and still sticking with regular lessons. One of my close friends was also a writer but worked a 9-to-5 job and always lamented that she never had time to freelance. I was worried that I’d also find myself too tired to take photos of the dozens of families I’d photographed over the years.
After some extensive discussions, my husband was cleared to work fully remote. With a progressive retinal disorder, it made a lot of sense for him, and he was happy that he could get more work done and not worry about commuting via Uber or a crowded subway system.
Most of my work was already remote at that point. I was teaching piano virtually due to the pandemic and families seemed to like it, given that it eliminated travel times for both parties. With freelancing, I didn’t have to go to an office, so I figured it wouldn’t be hard to work remotely. My husband and I made the decision that we would move once our lease at our apartment ended in September 2022, especially given our rent increase for our three-bedroom apartment would make it nearly $4,000 per month.
It was a hard few months of goodbyes, and I spent many a night lying in bed, worrying if we were doing the right thing. Deep down, I knew we were, but boy, was it hard! I still sometimes wonder in fleeting moments what it would be like if we had stayed in D.C. That feeling dissolves, though, when I remember that if we had bought a house it would have probably had to be halfway to Pittsburgh anyway! (There was almost nothing under $250,000 any closer than Hancock, Maryland.) By then, many of our friends were busy with kids or moved away (or had plans to), so we knew our decision was the right one.
Living in a Hallmark movie
Just over two years later, my husband and I are in our first home. It’s in a wonderful neighborhood that is so close-knit, it often reminds me of a Hallmark movie. Our neighbors in our cul-de-sac are kind, watch out for each other and spend most evenings outside together in the summer. Our 2-year-old frenchie Thor (we unfortunately lost Tito to a back injury and breathing issues shortly after we moved here) has a fenced-in yard to run around in. My husband has a finished basement to work in, and, thanks to Pittsburgh’s comparative affordability, we could buy a newer home that doesn’t require a lot of maintenance. And living closer to both our families means we get to spend more time with them.
Because Pittsburgh is a more affordable city, I can be fulfilled creatively and keep doing what I love. I still freelance and write regularly for both D.C.-area and Pittsburgh-based publications. I teach a dozen students piano lessons throughout the week, including one who is an 18-year-old senior and has been with me for 10 years. The rise of remote work was one of the few positives to come out of the pandemic, and I know I am grateful for the ability to work from home.
As a creative, being satisfied with my work is highly important. While there are slower periods (summer is typically tough), there’s nothing I’d rather be doing. I get so much joy from writing personal essays like this one or telling other people’s stories. I enjoy the delight of students when they finally master a piece they have been practicing for weeks. I even was able to start portrait photography again this past holiday season!
With a mortgage now, we don’t have to worry about rent increases. I can do what I love while not having to sit bored or unhappy at a desk for eight or more hours, five days per week. Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am. I feel grateful and blessed and try to remember to thank God every day for being able to fulfill myself creatively and get paid for it.
Growing up in Pittsburgh, I always knew it was special. Coming back as an adult, I can see just how friendly, kind, down to earth and generous Pittsburghers are. My husband and I still get that big city feel when we head into town for a meal, catch a show at the Benedum, or a Steelers, Penguins or Pirates game. We are thankful that we can return to a home we can call our own in a community we love.
Kate Oczypok is a freelance writer, piano teacher and photographer who can be reached at kate.oczypok@gmail.com. She is proud to be back living in her hometown!
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